Dad was born in Dartford Kent in 1947 and had an unsettled upbringing.

As a baby dad ended up in Zambia, or Northern Rhodesia as it was then known, with his parents Jeffrey and Dorethea. Originally bound for South Africa, Grandad had a change of plan mid-flight when he found out there were greater financial rewards to be had in the mining industry in Zambia.

I can’t imagine what it was like for Grandma arriving in this alien country after the war and travelling down the Zambezi River to their new home.

They lived in the bush just outside of Ndola and dad seemed to thrive in his new environment in his early years and befriended many of the local children as well the monkeys!

Sadly the marriage didn’t last and Dad returned to the UK in the early 50’s where he spent two and a half years in a Kent orphanage for fatherless boys before moving to Windsor Ontario in 1957 with Grandma.

With the decline of the Detroit motor industry a year later, Dad and grandma ended up moving back to London and dad joined William Blake school in Battersea.

Back then Battersea was very different to nowadays and dad immediately stood out and attracted attention with his Canadian lilt and crew cut hair. After a tough start and having his teeth knocked out, dad soon learnt to stand up for himself!  He also had a mischievous streak at school and regularly had his knuckles caned most famously for the time he put a rat in his teacher’s desk.

Dad eventually settled into school life and his love of music started young and one of his passions was playing the cornet. He joined the 74th London Drum and Fife Band as a drum major where he played at the royal Albert Hall, as well as carnivals across the country including Sidmouth in the early 60s.

In 1963 aged 16, dad moved to Lymington where he started an apprenticeship at Wellworthy Engineering in the toolmaking department.

His apprenticeship was a pivotal moment not only professionally but also personally as this was where he was to meet his soulmate - Dawn otherwise known as mum.

It wasn’t the smoothest of starts however and nearly didn’t get off the ground at all if it wasn’t for mum’s friend Veronica. Mum who worked in the telex department thought John was cocky and arrogant bombing around town on his lambretta with a chrome tail. Dad had seen Dawn riding her bike around the forest and town, and thought she seemed snooty and stuck up.

So when mums friend asked her to go on a double blind date mum was horrified to see John walking into the Londesborough that night.    However luckily, they both stayed, and I guess the saying opposites attract is true as after a number of months they were married - although ever the romantic dad did gave mum an ultimatum saying if she didn’t want to get married he was off to join the Navy.   

However, it proved to be a match made in heaven and after getting married in 1971 they celebrated their golden wedding anniversary three years ago in 2021. 

Back then dad was an avid sportsman playing football and water polo at the sea water baths.  However, his sporting prowess was nearly curtailed by mum who came close to breaking both dads’ legs not long after they were married. 

In the early days they lived in Bull Hill and mum had a car but no licence. Teaching mum to drive, they were parking her mini in the garage, when mum accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake and pinned dad to the garage wall. Luckily it was a wooden garage, so dad went flying out into the yard with nothing more than a few bruises.

After Wellworthy, Dad spent time working at Shand Kydd and Sandersons before joining British American Tobacco.  He dedicated over 20 years to BAT as Production Manager and later in HR before he took early retirement aged 57. Dad seemed to love his time at BAT (although I am sure some of you here today will tell me otherwise, especially if it involved the Union’s) and based on the number of comments I have read on the BAT social groups, he was seemingly well liked and respected by his colleagues. Inspirational, supportive, fair, good man and true gentleman are just some of the terms that have been used to describe dad.

However, dad’s biggest passion in life was his family. I feel privileged to have had Dad as my father as I know not every one is as lucky as Laura and I. Growing up we used to drive dad mad (although to be fair it was probably just me), but no matter how many times I pushed his limits after the strict telling off, he would always soften and be back to being my fun loving Dad.

Dad loved food and as a result could often be found in the kitchen especially at weekends.  Mum and Dad would often throw dinner parties and it would always be dad pouring over menus and prepping the meals.

 I am sure mum won’t mind me saying, but Dad was definitely the chef in our household – although mum would cook our meals Monday to Friday, and managed to keep us alive with a limited repertoire of Shepherd’s Pie, Spaghetti Bolognese and Meat and 2 veg, Dad was the experimental one who bought every latest cookbook he could.

From Fondues, to Tagines, Curries and everything in between, he loved trying new dishes and the kitchen cupboards were bursting at the seams with exotic herbs and spices.  He was also master of the grill and we would avidly look forward to his BBQ parties where he would bbq everything – including fruit for dessert.  However, I think we will mostly miss his legendary Tiramisu which we used to beg him for every birthday - I am sure he got sick of making them.

I have Dad to thank for my eclectic taste in music. Saturday and Sunday evenings in our house, we would crank up dad’s expensive turntable system and we could be found dancing round the lounge to Jive Bunny, Dire Straits and Fleetwood Mac amongst others.  As I hit my college years, I suddenly found dad purchasing the same albums as me and regularly asking ‘have you heard this great new track?’, including the time he discovered Robert Miles’ dance hit ‘Children’ which I had been clubbing to only the previous evening! 

Our shared love of music led us to a number of concerts and gigs over the years, including Rod Stewart, Elton John, the Rolling Stones and most recently Andre Rieu in his hometown of Maastricht.
 Although one thing I didn’t see coming was when dad decided he would like to come to the O2 arena with me to see the legendary DJ, Pete Tong, for his Ibiza classics set with a full orchestra.  We had such a fun night in the box with Dad downing whiskeys with a random man sat next to us. It is one of the memories I will treasure.

Dad also had an interest in travel, probably helped by his time in BAT where he got to travel to other production facilities and suppliers around the world including Russia, Italy and the States.  
From our early years when we would holiday on the Isle of Wight and the Cotswolds to Europe and America in later years, travelling with three females couldn’t have been easy. Especially not when we hit our teenage years and developed a love of shopping.  Dad would dutifully take us to the local outlet centres and follow us round helping to carry the bags. However, he never complained even when I caused carnage at Miami airport for being severely overweight with all my purchases.

Dad and I had a similar zest for travel and culture – poor mum and laura would trail behind us as Dad and I explored numerous historical ruins such as Paphos Archaeological Park in Cyprus.  And dad’s tales of his boys trip to Australia inspired my own solo adventure last year.

Both Laura and I have been lucky to find husbands, who loved our family unit and spending time with our parents as much as us – to the point where Arnie would regularly invite mum and dad to join us on holidays. We have had some great trips but my favourite memories are not the sightseeing but the laughs we all used to have. One of my favourites was in Reims, when after a few drinks, Dad heard Arnie order ‘Oeuf de la crème’ for his starter and decided to have the same.  The look on their faces when they were served a runny bowl of cream with a sloppy egg in the middle was priceless.

One of dad’s other passions was photography and his camera and numerous kit bags would go everywhere with him. He loved capturing people as well as landscapes and we will share some of his favourite snaps later including those that he exhibited and sold in the Hampshire Open Studios event a few years ago. 
Dad’s love of photography meant we would often be waiting for him to capture the perfect shot, and on occasion this would get him or us into trouble. On one trip to France, with Laura and I, Dad was avidly snapping the Arc de Triomphe, as the coach driver tried to depart with Laura and I onboard. I’m not sure the driver was impressed when confronted with two young hysterical girls shouting that he couldn’t leave without our dad!

Dad has always been a people person and loved to help others. After he retired, he threw himself into local town and community projects becoming a town councillor and spearheading a campaign for local sporting facilities including the skate park at Woodside Gardens as well as working at the local Citizens Advice Bureau.

However, in the past 7 years, Dad threw himself into a new role, which was definitely his favourite –  Grandfather, or rather Poppa Smale as he is more affectionately known in our family.  Dad loved spending time with Porter, who he called his little pocket rocket, and the two of them could often be found playing games, reading stories or enjoying family days out be it at the zoo, or crazy golf. Dad was an amazing role model not only to us but also Porter and would throw himself into challenges headfirst - only a few years ago, Dad decided he had to try the zipline at Beaulieu and show Porter how it was done!

Dad was kind hearted, warm and friendly with a great sense of humour.  He would welcome everyone into our home and make them feel at ease – including complete strangers, such as those he dragged in off the street one New Years Eve for a drink much to mum’s disgust as they all traipsed in with thick mud on her new beige carpets!

In the past couple of years, we have all been so inspired and proud of how dad coped with his dreadful illness, especially in recent months when it spread to his brain and affected his speech.  Dad never once got angry, upset, or asked ‘why me’.  He just got on and dealt with it with formidable strength.

 However you knew him, be it John, Dad or even Poppa Smale, Dad will leave a big hole in a lot of people’s lives, but I know he would not want us to be sad but instead, treasure the memories of all the good times we had with him.